To you married/engaged guys

As Christmas is fast approaching I've been contemplating the perfect present for my girlfriend Michaela and I've decided that I want to ask her hand in marriage. Now this isn't a spur of the moment thing, I've thought about it for quite some time and knew one day I would marry her, but I just did not think I was ready yet. Well I think the time has come, and I feel I am as ready as I will ever be!

But before I take the big step I want some opinions from you guys on a couple different things. First off, what are your thoughts on the length of an engagement? What is considered to you to be too long or too short? I was thinking the perfect date (which of coarse I really have no control over in the first place, but I'm sure she would love the idea) would be June 10 because it is exactly a week between our birthdays on the 3rd and the 17th. Now with that date in mind and considering the date of engagement being Christmas day, that would be a 6 month engagement. To me that doesn't seem like enough time, especially since we are both kinda procrastinators, to get everything in order for the wedding and honeymoon and everything else involved. Now if we were to wait until June of 2012, that would be plenty of time to prepare and let everyone know and make plans and whatnot. Is a year and a half too long though? Cause I've had people tell me before they were engaged and said the wedding wasn't for another two years or so, and it's hard to take them seriously. Almost like they're not ready to be married but want to say they are going to anyway.

Secondly, what are your guy's thoughts on men wearing engagement rings? I've done some research and it is mostly socially acceptable in modern times and more and more grooms-to-be are choosing to wear one, especially with the increasing rise of women proposing to men. The reason I ask this is because I found the ring I would wear as my wedding band a year or so ago: a titanium band with a strip of 100% real carbon fiber around the outside. It is a sweet ring and I would wear it proudly as an engagement AND wedding ring. Although I'm sure I would catch a bunch of crap for it lol.


Tungsten Carbide Carbon Fiber Ring
http://www.titaniumkay.com/provideo.aspx?proid=P103534&pronam=BOMANI

Now Michaela knows NOTHING of this and I would like to KEEP it that way! So those of you that know her (or are related to her ahem... SAM!!!) please keep the bro code and keep this secret to yourselves

we waited a little over a year to get married after we were engaged. so IMO i dont think a year and a half it to long. as far as you yourself wearing a engagement ring thats kinda up to you. i personally didnt. but i dont see anything wrong with it if you wanted to. best of luck. i personally am stoked to be married it was a great thing. we have been together for 7 years and married for 2 out of the seven.

Love the ring. Alandra and I want to go with something similar.. no gold or silver.

My wife and I were engaged for around a year. Worked well for us. A year gives you plenty of time to plan a wedding.

I dont think six months is a bad number, as long as she has enough time to plan the wedding without being stressed about deadlines. Trust me she wont procrastinate! Give your input but take her side when a decision has to be made. Keep us posted and ask ask ask if you need any more advice! Congrats!

im not engaged anymore, but i have tons of info on places to have a wedding/ reception.

I don't know. Haven't planned on getting married any time in the future. Call me an asshole, but my opinion on it is that I can do all the "married stuff" without being married. Its a title and a little bit of a tax break IMO.

From the experience of all my friends that have been married, once you say "I do" she says "like hell you do!".

It changes women. Be aware of that.

ProOnThaSnow wrote:

I don't know. Haven't planned on getting married any time in the future. Call me an asshole, but my opinion on it is that I can do all the "married stuff" without being married. Its a title and a little bit of a tax break IMO.

From the experience of all my friends that have been married, once you say "I do" she says "like hell you do!".

It changes women. Be aware of that.

been married 2 years and nothing has changed. everybody is different.

Bird and I have been engaged for almost 5 years now. HA HA HA. I am in no hurry to take the jump. As much as she wants to get married, I believe that things are great how they are and there is no reason to add anything to the equation.

go for it todd, it woiuld be nice to have another car guy in the family

shawnss wrote:

ProOnThaSnow wrote:

I don't know. Haven't planned on getting married any time in the future. Call me an asshole, but my opinion on it is that I can do all the "married stuff" without being married. Its a title and a little bit of a tax break IMO.

From the experience of all my friends that have been married, once you say "I do" she says "like hell you do!".

It changes women. Be aware of that.

been married 2 years and nothing has changed. everybody is different.

17 years for me. it's done nothing but get better and better.

ghost wrote:

go for it todd, it woiuld be nice to have another car guy in the family

Thanks Sam!!! That means a lot

Don't get me wrong guys, I love my girlfriend to death but I just don't see it happening anytime soon for me. i think I'd much rather spend the money we'd use if we were to get married towards a house... But that's just my opinion. I'm also the guy who wouldn't want a big wedding if it ever happens. I'd much rather keep it small and with close friends and family. i'm just a wierd bastard, lol.

ProOnThaSnow wrote:

Don't get me wrong guys, I love my girlfriend to death but I just don't see it happening anytime soon for me. i think I'd much rather spend the money we'd use if we were to get married towards a house... But that's just my opinion. I'm also the guy who wouldn't want a big wedding if it ever happens. I'd much rather keep it small and with close friends and family. i'm just a wierd bastard, lol.

I ended up saving a ton of moneu due to the taxes of filing jointl back in the day.

Oh I here ya on not wanting a big wedding man and my girlfriend feels the same way. Just close family and friends for sure.

If or when the Bird and I ever get married I am guessing the wedding will be huge. Everyone from the club will be invited for sure. I already know the guy doing the photography.

You forgot about who's doing the live music!

Don't worry, as soon as you get engaged you won't have to make any decisions like that... they'll be made for you... (just kidding)

I don't know if I'd hit up the men's engagement ring... for the simple fact that it costs money now. Weddings are damn expensive as well. Nicole and I did everything in about 6 months (saving the whole time) and we're just climbing out of the "wedding debt"... so I guess it depends on your situation. With that being said... we tried to spread all of the big expenses out, buying my ring later just worked out better for us.

Have you bought her ring yet? My wife has a really fun AE86 coupe on her finger.

RedMitsu wrote:

You forgot about who's doing the live music!

LIVE music....BLAAAAAAHHHHHH (GAG)...DJ son

Oh and I will be singing and Montoya is doing the music.

Congrats Todd, I hope you can actually keep it a secret now that it's on "the web."

June 10th is the day I got married. It was a amazing day. I proposed right around now, and Tari had plenty of time to plan a huge wedding. 300 guests, 8 brides maids/groomsmen, food, dancing, reception, the whole bit @ The Moss Mansion. Best June 10th wedding ever! So it you're ok with second best, have it on the tenth, haha. If she wants a small wedding that should keep the costs down too. We put our honeymoon on a "no interest for 12 months" credit card and had it paid off on time. But you know your budget better than anybody, and since money is one of the leading causes for fights/divorce now, I'd take it pretty serious.

I've worn my ring since a week or two after I proposed. But ours was a matching set, and I wasn't gonna let some freakin' sweet bling just sit in a drawer for 6 months on principal.

Lastly, Tari and I did some pre-marriage counseling, and I highly recommend it. They basically walked us through some things so it wasn't as big of surprise adjusting to being married. If nothing else start asking some really successful couples what's made it last for them.

Ask me anything man. It's been 4 amazing years so far!!

sprockmember wrote:

I don't know if I'd hit up the men's engagement ring... for the simple fact that it costs money now...............Have you bought her ring yet?

My ring is only around $120 so it's not like money for MY ring is a big deal lol. No I have not bought her ring yet, but I have already found the one and will be buying it today actually

DJ Hobbles wrote:

DJ son

We actually talked some last night about "if we get married" that we would very much like to have you as the DJ for the event, but we can talk about that at a later time

repsofchrist wrote:

I've worn my ring since a week or two after I proposed. But ours was a matching set, and I wasn't gonna let some freakin' sweet bling just sit in a drawer for 6 months on principal....................Ask me anything man. It's been 4 amazing years so far!!

That's exactly how I feel about my ring, I wanna rock my bling lol! Also we talked last night and found that her brothers birthday is June 10th so "if we were to get married" (lol) we said it would be the week after my birthday, which would be June 24th. Thanks so much everyone, I'm sure I will have many more questions before Xmas

Well finally got to sneak over to the bank and get financed today for the ring, and a little extra for myself I'm going to pick it up tomorrow at lunch. I'll post a pic, I'm so excited I don't know how I'm going to contain myself until xmas!!!

just pee youself a little... thats what I did and LOOK AT ME NOW!!!!

Ha ha, I love reading everyones stories. I have been married for really close to six years now and it is awesome. I have 2 kids and enjoy having my own family. (Something I never thought I would like). As far as women "changing" after you say I DO, as long as you are getting married for the right reasons and know eachother as friends also, there are no surprises. Generally, in the experiences I have seen in others, if you think your "woman" has changed since you have been married, most likely you have too. Just be real with eachother and DO NOT hide anything! DONE

Thanks for sharing your stories and suggestions guys, means a lot

Here's the best pic of the ring I could get with my phone. Also when I went to go pick it up they happened to have the exact same CF ring as I'm ordering online for myself and I got to check it out real close to verify it really IS carbon fiber. It looks sweeter than I imagined so I ordered it up today, should have it in a week or so (for $150 less then in store!). I plan on "opening" my ring after she opens hers on Christmas