Need some advice on a weird situation...

Lately I have been thinking of asking my Brother-in-law to move his Talon out of my Brothers driveway so we can put the business vehicle there. Well yesterday I texted him, "will you move your Talon out of the driveway so we can park the business truck/trailer there?" You would not believe the chaos that text brewed!

The car has been in the driveway for 3 years going on 4 and my Brother has been wanting it gone since it was parked there. Those of you who know my brother and myself know that I am the aggressor of the two, so I decided to initiate the removal. Big mistake! I could not believe how bad someone could freak out about something so minor. I received a text back from him stating that he had nowhere to put it, so I just left it at that. About 6 hours later I got another text stating, "That is not even your house!!!!". My reply to was, "We need to park the business vehicle there. Your car has been sitting there for 3 years". His reply was, "No, but I did live there for 2 years and now I am in Great Falls. I have nowhere to put it". So once again I just said whatever and let that be the end of the texting and put the situtation to rest knowing it was a bad idea asking about it to begin with.

Well Drew and I were between projects so we went back to work on what we were doing and made a 15 minute trip to the gas station as my car was completely out. In the amount of time it took for us to get to the station and back I had 6 missed calls from him, 6! I decided to call him back to see what the deal was and immediately upon connection I was receiving a tongue lashing about how I am a huge jerk. I was confused for the first few seconds as all I did was ask him to move a car, but soon became VERY PISSED OFF and started releasing some serious anger on that SOB. Let me tell ya it has been a VERY LONG TIME since someone has pushed my buttons like that. Well, long story short the heated battle continued for about 3 minutes until I was so angry I just hung up the phone. I was actually to the point where I could not even stand up and my knees felt like they were going to come out from under me.

Anyway, I was just wondering how many of you fellow clubbers have been in situations like this where something very minimal becomes the biggest deal of the century. I was pretty much just the middle man in this situation between my Father and Brother trying to sort out a parking issue. It is always fun being known as the bad guy.

What is everyones suggestions on the situation? I for one will hold a grudge for a lifetime, so as far as I am considered the bridge between the two of us is gone and cannot be rebuilt. Also, am I in the wrong for sturring up the 3 year old problem or am I in the right trying to fix it? I obviously think he is in the wrong in this situtation.

I'd be tempted to move the fucking god damn car. Or light the sonbitch on fire. Just reading that makes me angry.

well from the sounds of it your brother didn't want the car there? but also at the same time didn't want to say anything to ( his?) brother inlaw about it. in fear of up setting his wife or even brother in law? but you were ok with letting him know how you felt about it. so no i don't think you were in the wrong. if its something your brother didn't want sitting in his drive way taking up usable space. then i don't see the problem. if the brother in law cared about the car so much in the first place you wouldn't think he would leave it sitting out doors over such a long period of time. but thats just my opinion. i think it might be a bit weird when you guys see each other next. but the best thing to do is get everything off your chest.

Thanks guys.

You know Owen it is really funny that you say that, because I actually mentioned I would just pull the damn thing out to the street and leave it there (that was obviously during the heated conversation on the phone).

Shawn, yes it is my Brothers Wifes Brother, so his true Brother-in-law and you are right on the money about not saying anything due to upsetting the other side. My Brother does not wear the pants in the family and he makes that very apparent. You also make a very good point about him caring for the vehicle, if he cared so much why is it sitting outside for 3 years?

Good points guys.

You're nicer than I am. I would have had the car towed by now. If its been sitting there rotting for 3 years, he either needs to do something with it, or get rid of it.

I don't know your family dynamics, so I can't comment on wether it was a good idea for you to bring up the subject. For some families it'd be pouring gas on a fire, and other families just operate that way.

However, in my experience, a text is never a good way to bring up a touchy subject. No matter what your intended tone was, he interpreted it as, "MOVE YOUR BL**PIN CAR!!!" Then it's all down hill from there. If you really want to fix the situation, I'd appologize for the yelling match and offer to "help him find a better storage option (storage unit, friends back yard, bottom of the river, etc). Ok, maybe not the last one haha. But i'd definatly try to do it over voice rather than text. And try to keep the ultimate goal in mind, getting the car moved, and not proving you're right, or telling him what you think of him or what he can do with his car. Good luck.

repsofchrist wrote:

I don't know your family dynamics, so I can't comment on wether it was a good idea for you to bring up the subject. For some families it'd be pouring gas on a fire, and other families just operate that way.

However, in my experience, a text is never a good way to bring up a touchy subject. No matter what your intended tone was, he interpreted it as, "MOVE YOUR BL**PIN CAR!!!" Then it's all down hill from there. If you really want to fix the situation, I'd appologize for the yelling match and offer to "help him find a better storage option (storage unit, friends back yard, bottom of the river, etc). Ok, maybe not the last one haha. But i'd definatly try to do it over voice rather than text. And try to keep the ultimate goal in mind, getting the car moved, and not proving you're right, or telling him what you think of him or what he can do with his car. Good luck.

Agreed!

Tell him I'll buy it from him. I WANT THE TALON TRUCK!!!!
On a serious note, I didn't realize the talon was that much of an issue. Sad day for all.

Oh man Mike I've had my fair share of these kinds of experiences. One of my roommates likes to jump to the conclusion that I'm being a complete asshole every time I bring up common room mate issues like cleaning duties and stuff like that. It's ridiculous.

If I were you I would just move the car to where it works for you. It seems pretty apparent that he doesn't care about the car too much.

Oh, that's the Talon truck? Hell, I'd be happy to handle this situation for you. But don't even bother with him if he's gonna be like that, and don't let it bother you. He's probably just one of those overly possessive types who doesn't actually give a shit about it, but overcompensate badly. As it's been left there and essentially abandoned, and you seem to be the only one taking some responsibility toward it, then you might as well treat it as your own property.

Just park it out on the street, and it'll get towed, or more likely Montoya and myself will put it to good use.

isn't it technically abandoned after 30 days? I'd say wait a month, and if he hasn't moved it, take the proper steps necessary to acquire ownership, sell it to Cy, or someone, and make a few pennies. As for the relationship aspect...yeh, that's a suck-salad sprinkled w/the bacon-bits of disappointment. Things b/t family are always difficult to deal with. Good luck sir!

Lets just say the next family gathering is going to be interesting. More than likely I will not attend as his side of the family will side with him. Who knew that asking someone an everyday question could result in a situation like this?

I personally think that him moving the car has been in the back of his mind for some time and he has not been looking forward to moving it, hence the complete and utter chaos the question ended up brewing.

Not sure what is in store for our future relationship, but I would guess things will smooth over and become normal once again. Luckily I only see him about once a year, so if things dont change, it will not affect me whatsoever.

give him a deadline that have it impounded.